About Elyssa
Hey — I’m Elyssa. Relationship coach, former people pleaser, and the person who once ran 3,000 miles away from home thinking a change of scenery would fix what was actually a pattern problem.
Spoiler: it didn’t. I dragged every single piece of my emotional baggage right along with me.
By the time I hit my 30s I had the self-awareness to see exactly what I was doing wrong, I studied developmental psychology in college and I could identify an anxious attachment pattern from across a crowded room, but I still couldn’t stop doing it. I stayed too long. I over-explained. I abandoned myself quietly and consistently in the name of keeping the peace. I chose people who were very clear about who they were and convinced myself I could see something in them they hadn’t found yet.
I know. I know.
It took a lot of hard, uncomfortable, occasionally humbling work to understand why a smart, self-aware woman keeps ending up in the same place over and over again. And once I understood it, I mean really understood it, not just intellectually but in my body and my choices, that’s when everything started to change for me. My standards changed. My relationships changed. The way I talk to myself changed.
That’s the work I do with my clients now.
I’m not here to validate every decision you’ve made or tell you that you just need to love yourself more. I’m here to help you actually understand why you keep ending up in the same dynamics with romantic partners, with family, with friends, with people who should have never gotten as much of your time as they did, and to give you the tools to start making genuinely different choices.
Not therapy. Not toxic positivity. Just honest, psychologically grounded coaching from someone who has lived the version of this story you’re probably tired of telling.
If that sounds like what you’ve been looking for — I think we should talk.